


Distant

by heckinamanda



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: College AU, F/F, M/M, Mild Angst, including bitterness and Being Gay, it's during summer break tho, just a lot of feelings in this one, like super mild imo, reuniting after a break up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 01:36:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20184088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heckinamanda/pseuds/heckinamanda
Summary: Cyrus sees TJ for the first time since breaking up.





	Distant

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be a fun getting-back-together fic at around 1k words but then I did some world building and delved into cyrus' psyche
> 
> anyways!! I worked pretty hard on it for two or three days and I'm proud of that so I hope you guys enjoy it!! :^D

“Definitely not.” Jonah grimaced.

“Oh come on,” Buffy said. “Do it for five dollars.”

“Please stop trying to get him to eat sidewalk garbage,” Cyrus butt into their conversation. “It’s disgusting.”

“It’s not garbage,” Andi said. “It’s a marshmallow.”

“So you’re saying _you’d_ eat it?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

“It’s too late anyway,” Jonah said. “I’m not going back for it.”

“I would for a crisp twenty,” Buffy mumbled.

“Can we stop talking about the marshmallow? We’re here,” Cyrus said.

_Here_ being the Shadyside Summer Festival, an annual celebration taking place at the local fairground every August. It’s a nighttime event with games, rides, and the best food trucks in honor of the city being founded—Cyrus is usually over the moon excited for it.

The keyword here is usually. This year, there was an unsavory face somewhere that he didn’t want to see.

“I’m gonna go find some snacks from better places,” Jonah said as he walked through the fence gate.

“Yeah, like from dirty deep friers in the back of a van,” Buffy teased.

“Exactly,” he pointed a finger gun at her. “Where are you guys headed first?”

“Well I really wanted to ride the tunnel of love, so…” Andi looked at Buffy with a pout.

“Fine,” she groaned despite the fond look in her eyes that Cyrus could clearly see. “But I get to make fun of the other couples.”

“I wouldn’t ask anything less of you.” Andi excitedly took her hand and marched away, her girlfriend reluctantly in tow.

“What about you, Cy?” Jonah asked him.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “A little of this, a little of that. Just uh, takin’ it easy.”

Jonah gave him a look.

“I’m not looking for him, okay?”

“…Okay,” Jonah sighed before changing the subject. “You should come over to the food trucks with me. I heard they have a tater truck this year!”

“Fine,” he said. “But if that’s not true I’m turning back around.”

* * *

“Told you there’d be a tater truck,” Jonah said.

“Lucky for you, now I’m staying,” Cyrus joked while holding a hot basket full of baby taters. “I’m surprised it took The Spoon this long to rent a truck here.”

“I heard they just got a permit fo—wait, is that Marty?”

“What?” Cyrus turned around to follow Jonah’s eyes, landing on a tall boy with dark brown hair and iridescent earrings. “Whoa, I think it is.”

“Hey, Marty!” Jonah called. Their old friend turned around and smiled at them, right before another figure joined him.

Oh no.

“And is that—”

“TJ,” Cyrus said. He turned back around to look at Jonah. “He didn’t see me, did he?”

“Dude, they’re both looking at us right now,” he said. “They’re talking a bit. Oh wait, they’re coming over.”

“_What_?” Cyrus squeaked. “I’m going to find Buffy and An—”

“Hey!” Marty’s familiar-yet-unfamiliar voice cut him off, causing him to jump to Jonah’s side and look at the two boys approaching them.

“Hey,” he greeted as cheerfully as possible—though it’s hard to be excited when TJ is standing in front of you.

“What’s up?” Marty bro-hugged Jonah. “I haven’t seen you guys since what, high school graduation?”

“Yeah, things got pretty busy,” Jonah said. Cyrus was grateful that he was taking the reigns on this conversation so he could focus on the bright signs in the distance instead of TJ’s face. Or presence. Or anything even slightly TJ related. “What are you doing in town anyways?”

“I decided to spend summer break here with my moms,” he shrugged. “And then I found Kippen over here by the dunk tank.”

TJ—who hadn’t looked over at Cyrus at all since coming over—nodded in response.

“Well, it’s really good seeing you guys again,” Jonah said. That sounded like a lovely bow tied to the end of a conversation to Cyrus, but apparently Marty wanted to unwrap it.

“Yeah, for sure,” he said. “You guys still have—what did you call it? The Good Hair Crew?”

“Yeah, that’s more Cyrus’ department,” Jonah said, gesturing to him.

_Thanks for including me_, he thought sarcastically.

“Yes, we’re all still friends. In fact, I should be looking for them right now,” he said quickly.

“But they said they’d be at the—”

He cut Jonah off with a gentle stomp on the foot. “I’ll catch you guys later.”

They probably said goodbye to him or at least waved him off, but he was practically sprinting away by the time he finished his sentence.

* * *

“He didn’t say _anything_ to me,” Cyrus complained as he watched TJ, Jonah, and Marty talk over by the same food truck he left them at.

He watched TJ’s face light up as he laughed at something Jonah said. A smile had never made him so angry.

“I thought you didn’t want to talk to him,” Andi pointed out.

“I don’t.”

“Then why is him _not_ talking a problem?” Buffy asked.

“Because I wanted things to be normal,” he explained. The two girls exchanged a look, causing him to groan internally—he hated when they tag teamed him.

“But you told us that you didn’t even want to see him,” Buffy said.

“Well, I _am_ seeing him,” he said. “I’m looking at him right now.”

“So that means… You do want to talk to him?” Andi questioned.

“No, well—no. I mean, yes, but no. I don’t know!” he hid his closed eyes under his wrist. “In the rare circumstance that we ever saw each other again—which I didn’t think would happen, by the way—I wanted things to be normal, whatever that means for us.”

“Got it,” the girls said in unison. They fell into silence after that, carefully watching the boys catch up in the distance.

“Can you believe we all dated one of them?” Buffy piped up.

“To be fair,” Andi reached up to wrap an arm around Buffy’s tall form. “I didn’t know I was a lesbian when I dated Jonah.”

“Speaking of…” Buffy gestured to the boys splitting apart. “Jonah’s coming over.”

“Great…” Cyrus grumbled. “Now he can tell us all about TJ’s great life.”

“Hey,” Buffy nudged him. “I bet he’s having a horrible life without you.”

“Yeah,” Andi said. “I heard he cries every night and swore to never love again.”

Cyrus laughed slightly at their lighthearted form of comfort. “Thanks, guys.”

“Hey,” Jonah joined them. “How was the tunnel of love?”

“Great,” and “Boring,” were said over each other.

“How was your bro-fest?” Buffy asked, adding her best mocking tone to ‘bro-fest’.

“Pretty cool,” Jonah said. “Marty is having a great time at UCLA. Apparently their cross country stuff is as good as he thought it was.”

“Of course it is,” she said. “I just hope he’s keeping up.”

“How’s TJ?” Cyrus asked impulsively. He didn’t want to know, but he couldn’t help but ask it. Even if it did plunge their circle into an awkward silence.

“Oh, right,” Jonah looked at the ground for a moment before shrugging happily. “He’s uh, good.”

_Uh, good_. Great.

Buffy coughed awkwardly. “Hey Jonah, wanna go see who can win Andi a prize first?”

“You’re so on,” he said with a determined smirk. The two started heading towards some games while Andi stayed back with Cyrus.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said with a cheesy smile. “See?”

“I see,” she said sarcastically. “Seriously though, we can talk if you need to. I know how hard stuff like this can be.”

“And I appreciate that, but I really am fine,” he said. “I promise I’ll come to you first if I need anything.”

“You better,” she reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “Now let’s go watch me get two new stuffed animals that I didn’t earn.”

“Actually, I’m gonna hang back here for a while,” he said. “Tell me who wins first.”

* * *

Cyrus spent the next thirty minutes walking around by himself, eyeing signs that were way too bright up close and games that he used to think he couldn’t win.

No sign of TJ. Not that he was looking.

He did, however, find a lot of other familiar faces. Andi’s mom was working a face painting booth with his old friend Walker. Cyrus heard that he had been working at Cloud10 to pay for art school for a while now.

He also saw his old high school classmate and middle school girlfriend-incident, Iris. She was winning some ring toss game for her girlfriend—she was always scarily good at those.

And he saw Libby signing about snow cones to some people he didn’t recognize, as well as Buffy’s middle school basketball teammates Kaitlyn and Maria sharing cotton candy. Everyone seemed to be having a _lot_ more fun than he was.

“You lookin’ for someone?”

That voice, jarring and familiar, cut through his thoughts like a surgeon cutting through the skin.

“No,” he turned around to find the source—not like he didn’t already know. “Are you?”

“Not particularly,” TJ said. “How are things in Shadyside?”

_You would know if you were here_, he thought somewhat bitterly.

“I’m sure Jonah filled you in,” he said, fully ready to walk away.

“A little,” TJ shrugged. “He mostly just talked about his family and stuff. I was wondering about you.”

“Well, keep wondering,” he sassed before he could even think twice about it.

“Cyrus,” TJ said. “Things don’t _have_ to be weird between us.”

He sighed. “I thought so too, but I don’t think I know how to _not_ be weird about us anymore.”

“Then let’s try this again,” TJ stuck his hand out. “Hi, I’m TJ Kippen.”

Cyrus looked at his hand with an emotionless expression. “Really?”

He wiggled his hand. “C’mon.”

Cyrus rolled his eyes to draw attention away from his lips curling upward and reluctantly shook his hand. “I’m Cyrus Goodman.”

* * *

“And she’s an _instructor_?” TJ gawked.

“Not really,” Cyrus took the last bite from his double-fudge ice cream. “I mean, she created the club at school. But she’s not the _only_ one in charge.”

“Wow,” TJ breathed. “I never really thought of Buffy as a fencer, but now that I am it makes a lot of sense.”

Cyrus laughed. “It’s actually pretty fun.”

TJ looked at him. “You’re in the fencing club?”

“No, of course not,” he said. “But sometimes Buffy shows me and Andi some moves.”

“I would love to see that,” TJ said genuinely. “Maybe she can show me some too before I leave.”

_Before I leave_. Hearing those words made Cyrus’ spine crack over and over again. It was uncomfortable and upsetting, but he ignored it because they were talking as friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

“When are you leaving?” he asked as casually as possible.

“School starts back up for me in September, so probably around the end of this month,” TJ told him. “Not quite sure yet.”

“Cool.” He started chewing on his plastic spoon.

“What about you? When do you go back to school?”

The question was innocent enough, but Cyrus really didn’t want to talk about this with him.

“The twenty-third.”

They started walking in silence for the first time since TJ joined his trek through the festival. It felt tense and weird, but maybe that was just in Cyrus’ head.

He started letting his eyes wander in front of him just to ignore his dumb feelings. The lights shining off of the tilt-a-whirl were illuminating some melted slushee puddle that he saw TJ and himself reflected in.

He stepped directly in it and kept walking. TJ will be gone again just as fast.

“Hey,” TJ stopped walking. “You okay?”

Cyrus smiled. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem quiet,” he observed.

_Don’t make things weird_, he thought to himself.

_We’re having a nice time. I should just enjoy our friendship while I have it with me again._

_This can be normal._

He looked at TJ, who was staring at him with those same puppy dog eyes he’d looked at every single day for years. This was the first time tonight that he had _really_ looked at them again. The lighting had his green iris turned neon while his pupils were left star riddled.

_No, it can’t._

“Actually, I’m not okay,” he said firmly. “I wasn’t okay when you left and I wasn’t okay with seeing you here and I’m not okay with how I’m feeling now. I missed you _so_ much when you were gone.”

“I called you. A lot,” TJ said. “I wanted to make long distance work. You broke up with me, remember?”

“Because _you_ chose New York over me,” he snapped. “Even when I couldn’t get into Columbia you still went.”

“I did _not_ choose New York over you. So many other schools wanted you up there, Cyrus,” TJ crossed his arms. “We could’ve moved in together like we planned. It’s not my fault that you settled for Shadyside forever.”

Cyrus’ hands squeezed the empty plastic cup. As he loosened his grip, he exhaled.

TJ let his arms fall to his side. “Cyrus—”

“Don’t,” he cut him off. He resumed walking, throwing his cup into a recycling bin and leaving TJ alone to take in whatever tension filled air they had created.

* * *

The words that TJ said were ringing in Cyrus’ ears—much like the actual ringing coming from the distant High Striker game.

He looked up at the ferris wheel. He didn’t want to be thinking about it. Or of TJ at all. He ended their relationship the day before he got on a plane for New York, and then didn’t come to see him go. Cyrus had gathered a few small regrets in life, but that had to be on the bigger end of the scale for him.

He said he couldn’t do long distance, that it would be too hard. But he’s never been one-hundred percent sure that that was the truth.

He kicked at the grass under the large picnic table that he was occupying alone. He could’ve handled the late night Skype calls, all the Snapchats about big New York rats, and the visits that didn’t last long enough and _everything_. What he couldn’t handle, was being stuck—which he was now, funnily enough.

The crunching of grass and gravel behind him pulled him out of his thoughts. “You hang out here a lot?”

He sighed. “That line again, huh?”

He heard TJ’s jacket swish, presumably from shrugging. “I thought it was funny.”

“You thought it was _flirting_,” he corrected. “And it was. Some horrible, morphed version, but flirting nonetheless.”

“Oh, so you’re the funny one now?” TJ joked, closely approaching the table.

He released the tension from his shoulders. “I’ve always been the funny one.” 

“Yeah, you have,” TJ said, suddenly soft.

Cyrus felt himself smile slightly. “I’d say you’re a pretty close second.”

TJ smiled. “Can I sit?”

He waited a moment, then nodded. “Always.”

Despite all of the empty spaces, TJ sat down right next to him. He always did.

“Listen, Cyrus… I’m sorry about earlier,” he said. “I didn’t mean that you were any less for staying in Shadyside or for things not going the way you planned—I promise I don’t even _think_ that about you. You’ve done so well for yourself here.”

“I know, and I’m not angry. Anymore, at least,” he replied. “But I was. For two whole years I carried this bitterness with me because of how you left.”

TJ put his hand on Cyrus’ shoulder—a feeling he had almost forgotten. “Then why did you stay?”

“I was afraid,” he said. He looked back up at the ferris wheel, noticing a very happy Jonah sandwiched in between an annoyed Buffy and Andi riding it. “I was afraid to leave my friends here after everything.”

By the time colleges were scouting, Buffy had torn her ACL. She ended up stuffing her dreams of playing MBA basketball and applied for Shadyside University, where she started studying to be a coach instead.

Andi dreamed about this prestigious art academy in Oregon ever since she heard about it from a SAVA teacher. It was the only place she applied to and when she didn’t get in, she was too crushed to apply anywhere else.

And Jonah couldn’t afford college, so he decided to get a job at the Red Rooster until his music career kicked off.

He felt like they needed him. So, Cyrus applied for Shadyside University with Buffy and stayed right where he always was.

“I remember how hard it was,” TJ said gently. “But look at them now.”

They both looked up again to see the trio now playfully shoving each other around on the ride and laughing.

“Buffy’s going to be the best coach and inspire a ridiculous amount of kids,” he continued. “Plus, who knows how many more clubs she’ll start at school.”

“God, she’s already started so many,” Cyrus said.

“See! She’s always been a trailblazer,” he laughed. “And Andi, wow. Have you seen the things she makes? Her online store probably has like, a gajillion sales. I know I’ve bought from her.”

Cyrus smiled at that.

“Not to mention her art gallery next month,” he kept going. “She’s probably gonna show up with some wild sculpture.”

He wasn’t wrong about that. It was her first art gallery set up by locals to showcase the Asian art community in Shadyside and she had _big_ plans.

But TJ had been disconnected from the whole group since almost as soon as he left. Cyrus cocked his head at him. “How do you know all of this?”

“Jonah might have told me more than I mentioned earlier,” TJ said. “And speaking of Jonah, he’s been getting so many summer tips for his performances—some local guys have even left business cards!”

“I know,” he said. “What’s your point?”

“My point is that they’re _happy_,” TJ said. “Life has its ups and downs, but they have each other—and you, no matter where you guys end up. And Jonah didn’t have to tell me that for me to know.”

Cyrus looked away from him. “I hate that you’re right.”

TJ shrugged. “Most people do.”

He had spent two years trying to hold everyone together with such unconditional support without realizing how much he shoved his own wants down, to the point of ignoring their growth to avoid how stunted he felt. Of course TJ of all people would point it out.

He reached over and for the first time in two years too long, hugged him.

“Thank you.”

TJ hugged him back immediately. “Anytime.”

Cyrus slowly broke up the hug, but kept his hands firmly on TJ’s arms. “I should apologize too.”

TJ’s eyebrows raised. “For what?”

“For things ending the way that they did,” he explained. “I shouldn’t have broken up with you before you left.”

“Cyrus, it’s oka—”

“It’s not okay,” he cut him off. “And I’m sorry. And I’m sorry for not telling you the whole truth then, either.”

TJ looked confused. “What do you mean?”

“I… I didn’t break up with you because of the distance,” he released his arms and looked at the paint chipping off the table. “I was so upset and even _angry_ that you got in but I didn’t. It feels ridiculous to tell you this, but I thought I couldn’t handle seeing you at my dream school without me.”

“It’s not ridiculous, Cyrus,” TJ grabbed his hand. “I just hope you know that some dumb school doesn’t say anything about who you are—or who I am.”

He looked at their hands for a moment before TJ sheepishly pulled away.

“Sorry…” he mumbled. “Haven’t seen you in so long, guess I forgot we don’t do that anymore.”

“It’s okay,” Cyrus smiled slightly, inching his hand back towards TJ’s.

All this time, he could’ve called and talked this out. He could’ve had TJ’s nice eyes and bad dancing and perfect laugh and dumb basketball shirts back in his life months after he left if he had simply tried. He couldn’t change the past two years, but he knew that he wanted to have a go at changing his future.

And with that newfound ambition, their distant hands slowly found each other again. The feeling of TJ’s warm palm melding into his made him think that maybe they would be okay in the end.


End file.
